Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I am kind of afraid of it.
All this time, I've been so excited about this whole process, and it never occurred to me the awesome responsibility that goes along with really, truly being an adult. I mean, it did. But the gravity of it all is just... Insane. It's not just bills and jobs and not being able to take my laundry home and do it for free at my parent's house. Home is MY house. The one that I share with my husband. And at my house, we have a coin operated laundry room.
But it's also not being able to go to my mother first with my problems, and my issues. She's always been my confidante, and my help. But now, it's not her job to tell me what to do. It's my job to go to Nathan with my problems, issues, questions, and puzzle them out with him first. I just know that I will have to catch myself before pressing the call button many, many times before I break the habit of calling her first. And I want to talk to Nathan. I love talking to Nathan. But my mom has always been there. And now my relationship with her is changing. Everything is changing. And it's scary.
But... in all of this, one thing has remained constant from the beginning. I have never felt a need to question Nathan's involvement in this. I have never said to myself: "I wonder if I'm settling..." or "Is he really IT?" Nathan, throughout this whole twisty, turny, evolving process, has been the constant. Since the very first time I asked myself if I loved him (and the answer was yes) I have never wondered about where this would go, or why him, or if he's really the one. He has never been the part that makes me nervous.
So as we go into the last 24 hours, I'm not as scared as I could be, as I have been. Because I realized that with Nathan beside me, things won't ever be as bad as I imagine. And sometimes they'll be sillier, and lovelier, and always things will be more wonderful and memorable.
I love you, my penguin. All through the eternities.
And even though I am a little nervous - I'm not afraid anymore. Because I know that I am with you.
And, because I've seen it, I've fallen in love with this song.
Just thought I would share it with you, since, you know, I don't have anything to write about except the wedding. And that's for another blog.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
So, today, I decided to write about how I came to have a new blog. I'll let you chew over this while I try to think of some kind of content update for whenever I next decide I need to share my thoughts with the greater digital community.
With this, I close.
To quote from the book of Virginia:
"And she clicketh her mouse, saying: Let there be webspace. And so it was. And she saw that it was good.
And she tappeth her keys, saying: Let there be text. And so it was. And she saw that it was moderately okay - and probably not at all as funny as it was in her head.
And thus endeth the first day of blogging."
I have an interesting relationship with television.
My viewing habits are not the same as most people, primarily because I don't actually own a television. I haven't purposefully seen a broadcast since the early episodes of this season, and that was because I happened to be in a place where it was on.
I love television. It is, by far, my favorite visual medium. Movies are great, but there's only so much you can convey in a two-hour movie. A typical season of an hour-long television show allows nearly 16 hours (not including commercials) to convey the heart and message behind an idea, the characters have time to stretch their legs and breathe, and stories have time to have nuance and finally come to a logical conclusion.
I don't watch television as an intellectual escape, nor do I turn it off to drown out the silence. As a result, I am not attracted to shows like "Two and a Half Men" or "According to Jim," but I am drawn to shows that make me laugh because they earn the joke and shows that make me think because they earn the thoughtfulness. They don't go for the easy laugh or the obvious one, nor do they use false sentimentality or underhandedness to trick me into caring. When they do, I check out; I stop caring. I don't have room in my life for anything other than sincerity.
There is a line in Aaron Sorkin's ill-fated series "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" in which the head writer (Matt Albie, played by Matthew Perry) says to the female lead of the show-within-a-show (Harriet Hayes, played by Sarah Paulson) about why a joke didn't work in dress rehearsal when it did during the table reading.
Harriet: What did I do wrong?
Matt: You asked for the laugh.
Harriet: What did I do at the table read?
Matt: You asked for the butter.
I want my shows to ask for the butter, not ask for the laugh. And like Harriet, they're far more likely to get the laugh if they don't beg for it, but let it come.
When I find a show that works, I tend to devour it. I don’t always keep track of series when they’re on the air, but I will find a show years after it has started or even after it has completely ended. I discovered “Arrested Development” after it was finished and burned through the seasons on Hulu as fast as time would allow. There are similar stories for “Lost” and “House.” Even “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Firefly,” crown jewels of geeky cult classics, were lost on me until after they were off the air.
I wish I could be the person who instinctively knows what is going to be worth watching. I can sometimes get lucky, like I did with “Life” and appear to be with “Community,” but those times are rare. I am unable to support a show while it is on the air because I don’t know it’s worth watching until it’s already been well established. “The Office” or “30 Rock” are perfect examples of this.
I can’t afford to spend all of my time looking for the cream of the crop, I just have to hope it rises in time for me to enjoy it. If you’ve found the cream, let people know about it. Talk about television; what you saw last night, what you’re looking forward to, what you hate. Nearly everyone can relate to television, and you can discuss it with anyone from snobs like me to people watching the most base of reality shows. If they can’t, you probably don’t want to be talking to them anyway.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
P.P.S.: I would like to give a big shout out to mine and Nathan's families, for being so helpful throughout this process! Especially to my mother, who has spent many hours working to make the 22nd of December and the 2nd of January two wonderful days for myself and Nathan, that we will remember fondly for the rest of our lives! Much love to everyone who is participating and helping!
Or maybe it just says something about me and my inability to update things like this.
Either way, it's been almost two months since either of us has updated, and as you can see from the handy little countdown clock that Nathan has installed in the sidebar - we're getting awfully close to the big day! Things are going as smoothly as I suppose they can in times like these - we're all working really hard at Real Life things in addition to the wedding, Nathan's got his job at Amazon that keeps him really busy, and my focus is mostly on finals. And, of course, a little on the awesome man that I have decided to spend the rest of eternity with. :D
In case you haven't heard, there's been a change of location for the ring ceremony. It was going to be held in the Richmond Ward cultural hall, but for various reasons we have decided to move it to the Owingsville Ward cultural hall, in Owingsville, KY. It's not hard to get to at all - if you have questions, look on the fb group OR just email firstname.lastname@example.org - as that is where you should send RSVP's to anyway. :D When you RSVP, please remember to tell us how many guests you will be bringing, so that we have an approxdimate number to know how many chairs we will need and how much food to prepare!
Also: Remember that the ring ceremony and reception are on the 2nd of January. The countdown on the sidebar points to the temple sealing, which will occur on December 22nd, and is when Nathan and I will officially be husband and wife. :D
I will post again sometime this weekend with more details, especially since we're almost done with the wedding dress AND mom says that there is a big box (or two) waiting at Nannie's from Macy's for us to open! (Which means it must be something off the registry! We've also been told that it is perfectly acceptable to open gifts early and send thank you cards as they arrive. :D
Can't wait to see what's in them!